A Marriage will stand
Sometimes, when I speak to people the question comes up, “How long have you and Pam been married?”. They seem interested when I tell them how long we have been married and how long we dated. We actually dated 6 weeks and got married! There is a simple answer for why we still are together and why our love has grown.
“Genesis 2:24 – Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
First Dates
At the end of May 1977, I met the most wonderful girl I could ever imagine. Pam and her sister Sherry were out riding around in her car, a 1976 Monte Carlo. We met at the Kenton Square. After I finally convinced her to go on a date with me, I knew this was the girl I wanted to spend my life with.
In June, I began working at Broderick’s, a steel foundry. I didn’t have a lot of money, so the dates we went on were just “riding around.” I might buy her a pop or something small like that, but Pam never asked for more.
The first place I took her was to the hospital to meet my Mom. Then, we drove through Belle Center and stopped at the Citco gas station to get a pop. We ended up at a truck stop in Huntsville and sat across from each other, just talking and drinking a Pepsi.
She took me to her house to meet her parents. Her Dad stuck his hand out to shake mine and said, “Nice to meet you Buford.” Pam looked at him and said, “Dad, that was Connie and Gene’s dogs name!” and that my name was Hebert.
So I hit it off right away with her parents I think!
Asking for permission
I didn’t have a lot of money back then so we just spent time together. I asked her Dad for permission to ask Pam to marry me and he said yes. But, this wasn’t like buying a pair of shoes: when shoes get old, you trade them in for a new pair. This is a lifetime commitment.
So, I finally asked Pam to marry me. I said, “Do you think you could marry a guy like me?” And she said yes!
Wedding day
Our wedding bands cost around $78.00 dollars for both, but we even had to make payments on those! She found me a light green pair of slacks and a green shirt. Pam had a white dress, so now all we had to do was wait for the date: July 15, 1977.
I was 19 years old and ready to spend my life with this wonderful girl I had met and fallen in love with just 6 weeks earlier. We went to her uncle Haskel Hurt’s house to get married. We had a friend of Pams with us for a witness. We were young adults — still teenagers really — starting out on a life together making a commitment that we would love one another for the rest of our lives.
I remember the vows we took: till death do us part, and that is the only way we will separate.
Today
It’s 2019 now. What kind of advice do we give others about marriage? I used to start by saying it takes 50% on each others part. But, Pam corrected me: it really takes 100% from both. And at that point, I realized that she was absolutely right (as she is many times).
So, at all the wedding we perform now, we tell them they have to go in 100%. When we perform the vows, I have them look at each other and remind them that the promise they are making is to themselves and to God.
“Proverbs 31:
10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.”
Pam as a wife
There was something about Pam when I first saw her. She seemed like that “natural fit” as my other half that had been missing for so long. When I am sick, she is always by my side — as I am likewise for her.
We made the decision early on that, when we do things, we would do most of them together. The same applied when our son Jeremiah came along: we would do activities that we could go to as a family.
Salvation
In 1990, Pam and I got saved and realized that we needed to put God in the center of our marriage. This is how we have made it for 42 years (and praying we make it another 42!).
A few years ago, I had been sick and had just got over a infection around my heart that damaged my main heart valve. I was taken to the hospital and the decision was made to operate — open heart surgery. I actually felt worse for my family that had to wait outside because I knew I was in Gods hands.
The operation was a success. Pam stayed in the room with me the entire time. One morning, the nurse came in and said that she was so touched cause as I was sleeping, Pam had her chair right by my bed holding my hand. This is the love we have for one another: that same type of love that Husbands and wives need to have a long and prosperous life together!
“Ephesians 8:25
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”
Wrap up
Faith, Hope and love is the way you make it in a relationship. And if you have a relationship with God, this will help you through out your entire life — including your marriage.
May God Bless you and walk with you through all your days.